How to Train Your Human

My human doesn't know what I did, and I'm not telling. I have a scab mohawk. It's mine, and will soon heal. What happens at home when you're at work stays at home. you're still wondering what I did to my nose

My sister (or daughter) Carapa has terrible allergies. She's much more comfortable on flea control and Apoquel, but because it's a magical drug made of unicorn kisses, it's on backorder a lot. She hasn't had an ear infection in a while, then ran up to my human with her ear flopping like a cozy pillow! Uh-o Carap. a little help here They drained her ear and put medicine in it to keep it from filling back up. Carapa may need surgery if her ear keeps refilling, so paws crossed for luck! She got a manicure/ pedicure while she was there. Why do humans think having their nails done is pampering? Just rub our tummies and everyone wins. seatbelt evasion skills

Please sing to Carl Douglas' Kung Fu Fighting:  Shyla was online shopping how difficult could this be? Her paws were quickly popping   all four! Buying treats without stopping my tail wags with anticipation Her human's bill may be whopping

There was a compromise this morning: I got to stay on the bed and snuggle if I quit trying to get breakfast before the alarm went off. At first I wasn't sure if this was worth it, so I poked my human's chin with my sharp, newly trimmed nails. I quickly ended up on the floor. is it time to eat now? how bout now? Eventually I gave up, and curled up with her arm around me, petting my belly. That is, until the alarm went off!!!!

My human and I were settling in for the night when we got the call. A vacationing dachshund was in trouble! We grabbed my seat belt and dashed to the hospital , spurred by the image of his increasingly swollen face. Timmy fell down the well ?! He happily licked my person's hand as she gave him injections to reverse the swelling. Before our eyes, his cute little noggin went back to it's normal, easy-to-breathe shape. saving cute lil animals before bedtime The next day his grateful human picked him up from camp, as good as new. Thank you for saving the day with the quick thinking phone call, Auntie Colleen!       

The thunder, lightening, and hail raged on as final preparations were made for the Denver Chalk Art Festival .   weather is relative My humans regretfully made other plans, then awoke to a warm sunny day. y'all saw what happens when I get wet Many artists were furiously working away as some ominous raindrops fell. The sun prevailed! The festival did not end in the same fashion as the carousel horse race in Mary Poppins . dear rain, we need you but please do not touch my paws

As the petite lady grasped the fridge handle, it ripped off in her hands. Oops. Was she the Incredible Hulk in disguise? An Amazon? Or was the fridge 2.5 years old and plastic breaks? Yes my friends, C was the most likely answer. we are prepared if the freezer handle breaks too My uncle ordered the part, and I supervised while he bolted it on. I could do these things if I only had a thumb. so much excitement!

The filing cabinet sat in pieces under the bed. Instructions were searched for but not found. With nothing to lose, we laid out the surfaces and tried to guess what went where. I helped a lot.  keeping your spot warm Slowly it came together. The drawer was the tricky part. see how pawy I am?

As my humans were making their meandering journey back to pet my belly, they found a kitten in the park. He had a stubby little tail and was chewing on a pineapple rind. He instantly started purring when they cuddled him, and an internet search was mounted. cuteness tractor beam Could the kitten accompany them home? Air China said yes. The railway from Shanghai to Beijing said no. As their hearts broke a little, an artist in the park started playing with the small one. The kitten frolicked over the parchments, ink, and calligraphy...instead of getting angry, the man beamed at him. cats smell delicious Relieved, my humans watched the feline bewitch his new friend. And thus, I did not get my cat snack.