How to Train Your Human

Mr Bacchus walked into the room, and peed on the carpet in front of his dismayed humans for the first time in twelve years. As they sprinted to contain the mess, the phone in our secret lair jangled. We were on the case! An animal is in trouble? I'll be right there! Since Bacchus was an older male dog, infection was less likely but never impossible. Did he have urinary bladder stones? Diabetes? Adrenal disease? Happily, Bacchus' xrays didn't show stones in his bladder. His urinalysis and culture didn't grow any bacteria. However, his blood work was suspicious of one of two things: leukemia or tick disease.  We crossed our paws for tick disease, the least of the evils, even though he was an apparently tick-free short coated house dog. Tick disease, specifically Ehrlichia, is a bacteria that lives inside white blood cells and is spread by tick bites. There are no tick control products yet that kill ticks faster than infected tick bites spread the bacteria. It

I woke up and my ear hurt so I flicked it a lot.  I dug at it with my paws.  I rubbed it on things. My goal was to pull a Ferris Bueller, but my humans noticed, and soon I was on my way to the hospital.  They looked in my ear with a plastic cone and I yelped dramatically.  It didn't really hurt, but I wanted to ensure that I'd be coddled for the rest of my visit. While they looked at my ear goop under the microscope, I waited on a comfy bed with a fresh beverage, which I knocked over and wiggled in. Now damp, I flicked water on the hard working technicians as they walked by.  Rudy, one of the hospital cats, really showed me how it was done. Turns out my ear was infected with yeast and bacteria!  Ouch.  Since my ear drum was intact, I was sent home with ear cleaner and medicine.  I shook my head after each treatment, but my ear feels a lot better now. Thank you!