How to Train Your Human

The forbidden door opened for seconds, long enough for me to burst through! I arrived eye-to-eye with an irritable calico cat. The feisty feline held her ground, and my human scooped me up before I could get any closer. our things in this huge yard makes them exciting again At this point, how many lives do I have left? adventuring is so tiring zzz

My humans tried to wriggle us out of our gear (leashes and seat belts) as we clamored to mark the same spot. Suddenly my mom's foot warmed as unpleasant knowledge sunk in.  one of us is the culprit As we continued to frolic outside, she stripped off her urine-soaked sock. While we ate eagerly, she washed her stinky shoe.  During dinner at Javelina , she found more of our pee on her jeans. We love her.  where next?

Happily soaking in the sun, I realized my humans were nowhere in sight. A mighty leap later, and I was stuck between the wall and the hot tub instead of reunited with them. I let out my shriekiest yelp. They came running, but didn't realize at first that I was trapped.  hello? guys? My human crawled along the edge of the cover, trying not to capsize. Once she reached the corner she jumped into prison with me. She hoisted me out of the corner, and I did a dance of joy.  free at last!

I raced to the taco shop with money and my humans' order pinned to my collar. During my journey I ignored cats and people trying to pet me. I was too little to go through the drive thru, so I pranced up to the counter. are they dreaming or am I? With my cart loaded up, I brought burritos home to their hungry sleepy bellies. Don't tell them I took a nibble. 

Our impenetrable garage teamed with debris. My humans had decided to tackle this chore, but I did not want them to leave. I looked up with big eyes and stretched out like a doggie paperweight. They decided to measure the walls in units of Shyla! the shelves should be three Shylas tall

love me I noticed this excerpt in a holiday card, and I approve. fan mail