How to Train Your Human

We have to brag about our human a little. She remembers to feed us, saves lots of animals, and usually has lots of common sense. When she’s well fed. We learned tonight that when her blood sugar is low, she does not make wise choices (this paragraph refusing to 'justify' was not one of them). We ran out to the car, zig-zagging on our leashes. For some reason one of the tires looked like a melted puddle. Our human shrugged and tried to beg an auto shop that was closing up to sell her a spare tire, but they didn’t have the right size. Next she watched the video on how to plug and re-inflate the tire. It looked really easy, although we still question why Toyota ever did away with spare tires. Not smart, guys. She hooked up the apparatus, started the car, and things seemed ok. Then the tubing that dispensed the glue and air to plug and re-inflate the tire started bubbling glue. She turned it off and double checked the connection. It was definitely leaking from where it shouldn’t...

On Friday, Mona the tripawd threw up a palm seed the width of her small intestine. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Her amazing puking ability saved her again. Seeds are delicious. Just try to stop me. On Monday, Mona threw up a second palm seed.  On Thursday, Mona threw up foam a couple times on her walk. We rushed her in and induced vomiting. She resisted at first, but then threw up a third palm seed! On Friday, she tried to eat more palm seeds on her walk. Her human shrieked and dragged her away. Then Mona sneaked into Corina's bag at work and ate her breakfast. Mona enjoyed Corina's toast with butter and jam and was not sorry at all.