How to Train Your Human

Errands were looming, but I was being adorable. pet my belly and things will magically take care of themselves I was strapped into my carseat, with the plan to run as many errands as businesses would let me come in. We bypassed indoor restaurants to avoid the wrath of the Health Department. look deeply into my cute eyes... and let me in your store The dog park's poop bag dispensers were repaired , and the bank fed me a LOT of treats. I was cooed at and allowed in the dressing room , the comic shop , and given another treat at the hardware store . We passed a canine cousin on the way out! is it nap time yet? 100% dog friendly day.  Dang. 

'Texting and driving? HIGHLY ILLOGICAL,' proclaimed the digital sign over the highway near Salt Lake City. Were we in a movie ? Was someone in charge a Star Trek fan? I would like to eat a tribble A few minutes of beautiful scenery later, the message was 'BUCKLE UP SCOTTY.' hint: help by jumping around maniacally when your human is trying to buckle you in Finally we drove under 'SAVE WARP SPEED FOR CAPTAIN KIRK.' Well played, Utah . 

We raced to reach the parade route on time. The ground was hot, so I was held while my parasol-shaded patch cooled down. I befriended an infant who liked my soft ears. I liked the crumbs on her hands.  this is more like it Flamingos were hung outside restaurants with care, with hopes that revelers soon would be there. There were dog rescues , amazing drag queens , businesses, swag, belly dancers and more! bring on the dogs in strollers! As the processional floats became further and fewer between, I was whisked home to nap. Happy Pride everyone! nappers for equality!

Please sing to The Nightmare Before Christmas: 'What's This?' What's this? What's this? There's asphalt everywhere What's this? You'll park without a care I will pull 1.5 tons for you! What's this? Shyla will supervise I can't believe my eyes Wake up neighbors, is this real? What's this? 5 car trips later... What's this? What's this? There were potholes everywhere What's this? Cement flies through the air working hard or hardly working? What's this? The alley is lined with Toiling humans laughing The road is fixed for low cost Are you sure that I'm not lost? What is this? What's this?

As we unrolled the tent on the beach , it caught the wind like a kite. It billowed wildly as the poles were slid into place. Soon it was held down with our menagerie.  doggie paper weights We ate snacks, joyfully lapped from our travel water bottle, and napped. The bay was our lullaby.  can we do this everyday? Several hours before high tide, the water was getting alarmingly close.  water burns our souls As we broke down our tent, fighting with it like Mary Poppins's umbrella, the ocean was a foot from our door! get in the car, the magic food window beckons We made our escape just in time.

Instead of eagerly following our pack to bed, Nacho lay snoozing in the living room. He was gently woken up, then walked a couple feet and laid back down.  When picked up he squawked. Finally he was herded, step-by-step, to the boudoir.  la la la la This was the dance that used to frustrate us many evenings until our uncle spilled the beans. He took one look at our apparently simple-minded and/or deaf brethren, and commented that Nacho was so smart he was playing dumb to get his way. We were floored. the jig is up Now even Nacho jumps up and runs to bed when he sees the Glucosamine Chondroitin tablet he loves. It's gobbled down enthusiastically only after he comes when he's called.  may we train you? The Battle of Bedtime is over.  Good night, folks!