How to Train Your Human

As we sat in the car waiting for our toddler's zillionth Covid test, his eyes fluttered closed. Should we drive around and come back later? Would they do a test on a sleeping kiddo? Would he stay asleep? pretend this picture is of a sleeping three-nager... Watching people in PPE dart between the other parked cars, we realized there would be a wait. This was good. Would it be long enough for a nap? Eventually a kind gentleman in a gown, face mask, and face shield approached us. We explained the situation and he said he swabbed a sleeping baby today and they didn't even wake up. It was worth a try! After the first nostril, Jasper's hands flew up around his face and he rubbed his nose, but he didn't open his eyes. Halfway there! He slept through the second nostril as well! O happy day.  envision me sleeping in the car... We drove home, stopping to grab the mail. My human deliberately didn't close the car door all the way in case the sound woke Jasper up, but the car di...

Mona pranced past the pile of saucy rib bones on the ground outside the supermarket, pausing to try and grab one. We hurried on our walk, wondering who was faster. Would she would need x-rays? Surgery?  They look so innocent when they're asleep On our way back past the scene of the alleged bone devouring, we were comforted by the many rib bones still laying there. My human happily forgot the danger, and went back to work. What do we have here? Five minutes to closing, Mona's muscles clenched. She started salivating. Then the retching began. As quickly as it disappeared, a rib bone hurtled out of her mouth.  You going to eat that? Shocked, we put the bone in a bag of water and put it on the x-ray table with Mona. The rib showed up distinctly, and no more surprises showed up on the radiographs of her cute little body! The moral of the story? Any time we think she may need one, just take the x-ray. Mona's mouth would rival Superman for speed.    Title: quote by Nora Rob...