How to Train Your Human

As I hacked violently, my human dangled a delectable rawhide chew in front of me. Distracted, I was able to stop coughing and gnaw away. I'm definitely sick, but they're teasing me about faking now. a snuggle a day keeps the doctor (mostly) away Now that I'm a little old lady on top of having a collapsing trachea, I'm ill about once a year. This week I started with an ear infection, and added in an intense upper respiratory infection. nurse! Home remedies that seem to help (in addition to my antibiotics and cough suppressants since my chest sounds clear) include ice cubes and distracting me with treats. How convenient. They've threatened to spray numbing OTC medicine in my throat if they can find one without xylitol (dog poison) . Cough. Cuddle. Repeat.

Climbing to the top of the steep rocky hill, our path suddenly disappeared. Our side-by-side came to an abrupt halt on the precipice. Channelling Trinidad's narrow alleys, my human carefully turned our craft around, avoiding plummeting us over. drive! Over hills and exploring the desert, we chugged along. Wind flew through my whiskers, and I kept warm swaddled in my blanket.  *the video doesn't play on phones ... why blogger, why?

A sloth slowly oozed across the road into heavy Costa Rican traffic. Drivers slammed on their brakes, and my humans helped surround the critter while he was whisked to safety. Bella would like to reenact the rescue for you very slowly There were monkeys, coatimundi, toucans, kinkajous, vipers, iguanas, leaf cutter ants, and many other tasty creatures. Fireflies flew around on their night hike, and a margay slept in a tree. Lil ol me? Meanwhile, I chillaxed and worshipped the sun. They did investigate whether they could take me to Central America, but I was left at camp to prevent me from eating wildlife. get in my belly Or to prevent it from eating (more) of me.

Sniff sniff sniff sniff ... what and where was that terrible smell coming from? Vaguely like skunk, but not potent enough. My humans smelled my fur as I lounged on our bed. I nonchalantly licked my paw until they discovered it was embedded in a large blob of feces, like a poop drumstick or lollipop. I don't like what happened any more than you do... let's cuddle I was raced to the bathroom and given a foot bath in the sink in the middle of the night, and tried to lay on the soiled duvet cover while they stripped it. With my paw clean, I snoozed off to dreamland. 

As we raced over hills and rough terrain with our people, Nacho and I relaxed in the side-by-side . There were hawks and squirrels and beautiful desert flowers. the scene of the crime Suddenly, Nacho stood up on my Grandpa's lap and started pooping! My human frantically caught his Easter egg with her bare hand, and flung it into some chaparral. Relieved, Nacho resumed his nap.  don't mind if I do too

I sprinted uphill through the daisies, the ocean breeze in my whiskers. My humans marveled at my sudden burst of speed.  I'm the little dot up ahead! I usually nap 23 1/2 hours a day, so having to try and keep up with me was a surprise.  Don't tell Mr Bacchus he's voluntarily standing in water  There were jelly fish on the sand, and we didn't eat any. We deserved puppuccinos!

My friends Mr Bentley and Royce came to dinner. Afterward they were allowed to lick their human's dishes clean.  sharkin My moms were divided. Dog mouths are cleaner, but we eat weird things. Is this gross or a win-win situation?  win-win! Offering me a juicy plate, I happily lapped at the leftover residue. Suddenly I leapt to attention, and ran across the dish, leaving saucy paw prints at my wake. Just like that, my dishwasher pre-wash days were over.