How to Train Your Human

My humans are back! My humans are back! I don't have much of a concept of time, but they were gone a long time. My uncle took me swimming and hiking which is good for me, but I prefer to sleep. Aging squishyly They can tell we had fun, because Carapa has a minor mud beard. My tail is nothing but a blur I quickly stole my mom's spot, sniffed them for animal smells, and we snoozed off our respective vacation lags. I snorted and grunted happily.

In my heyday I could jump eight feet high with no momentum. A brick was left beside a fence, making me tall enough to jump up, grab the edge with my paws, and wriggle over. I climbed chain link, slithering up it like a snake, and hung out with the guard dog next door (our tortoise also ended up there... luckily we had understanding neighbors). she makes things up As my human scooted out the door, laden down by parcels, I shot through her blind spot (under the pizza box) to freedom! She slammed the door so my siblings wouldn't follow me, dropped everything, and sprinted in my direction. Which way did I go? She spotted me running downhill (see how benevolent I can be?) and I smiled encouragingly as she chased me.  I was here the whole time She must be working out or something, because she caught me only one house over! I've evaded her many times in the past. As you can imagine, I needed a long nap after my great escape.

I WANT YOU my fur is so soft TO PET MY BELLY!

This morning was the  San Diego Humane Society  and SPCA's Walk for Animals. So many wonderful things happened. First, Nacho and I stole hash browns.  your wanted the tablecloth to stay on the table? Lots of people petted me, and I sniffed their canine companions (and two goats). A nice lady from the pet cemetery  sketched me. ready for my close up   look into my eyes I ate a bagel off the ground and many treats. I tired out fast, and people took turns carrying me back to our booth. much better than walking arf arf Nacho got his tuxedo wet in the rain (hooray! San Diego needs water), rolled in the table cloth, sniffed around for more snacks to pilfer, and then passed out in a chair.  everything is mine We saw the House Rabbit Society  (I did not eat their bunnies), the dermatology clinic (thanks for making us not itch), the Honest Kitchen , and many more animal loving exhibitors. We met Mr Tuff the surfing c...

There is a new blanket in the house. It's just as soft as the Blanket of Doom. I didn't know that life could get any better. so soft on my paws I hope my humans don't get jealous! Sometimes I lay on these blankets instead of them. what if there were three?  

We drove through the rain and fog enshrouded mountain roads rarely encountering a lone car. It was lovely. A rainbow stretched end to end across the sun lit valley, and we arrived in Palm Desert. I pilfered an empty snack bag, and it was more entertaining to photograph me than stop me. nom nom nom I happily marked my aunt's front yard, and met the other fur kids. Moksha and Shiva calmly greeted me, but Phoebe bristled. She soon realized I came in peace, and we were friends. I spronged onto the couch. This was illegal in their household, so my human sat on the floor with me on her lap.  At dinner time, my usual kibble was sprinkled with dried liver! I gobbled it up, and was rewarded with a bully stick segment (cut with a miter saw). bathroom dog bed! I approve We explored the yard, happily avoiding any rattlesnakes. Moksha was bitten last year, and thankfully survived. The gate was high enough for me to shimmy under, so I was supervised. After the other pups went to...

My brother Bacchus (Oreo Bob Grey Dog International Dog of Mystery), also a former street dog, does not like the outdoors. He holds his bladder as long as possible, and when he admits defeat he goes for a long time. Sometimes I'm sniffing or basking so intently that I stand in his colossal urine stream.  Picture me outside... entranced Today I ran just as he lifted his leg. From my human's perspective it was a miss. Then she picked me up, and felt the warm fresh urine soak into her clothes. Joy. While I tried to hop onto our bed like a little pee sprinkler, she attempted to clean me and strip at the same time.  My people make stuff up Good thing I'm cute.