How to Train Your Human

My humans swaddled me in my favorite blanket, then hurried to snap my photo. I look away and bathe or wiggle for photos. Could I be America's Next Top Dog Model ? do my bidding

My house is full of light switches .  thrift store chic And fixtures. And a hodgepodge of energy squandering bulbs. My human got super efficient can lights, which was a saga on its own. In June.  yellowed plastic space alien looking thing on my chaise Today she climbed up on a barstool and installed them. Finally. I helped. By noshing on my chew and not tripping her.  99% of my pics are blurry

The yoga mats were out and the class started online. I laid on my human, snuggling with all my might, but my human wouldn't stay. do you mean doga? The bath was bubbling, Modern Family was on, and there was vegan cheesecake. I gave my human my cutest stare, trying to save her from terrible water, but my human wouldn't stay.  sleep in piles of my fur! I laid on the unmade bed, thwarting every attempt to put on clean sheets. When things were back in place, my human FINALLY stayed. so helpful

Cramps! Ouch! Oof! Ugh! I am very warm and like to snuggle. You can cuddle me when and where you hurt.   is this the spot?

Recently my grandfather moved closer. Hooray! This weekend he was out of town, so we fed his cats. We used to be strays, and acknowledge three categories: people, other dogs, and anyone else is food. Nacho is very sweet, but ate a wild rat like a taco.  going to grandpa's! When we arrived after our road trip (Carapa barked at the border patrolman), the cats were herded into their rooms so we could safely be led through the house. We nearly stole cat food (aka chocolate cake for dogs). The backyard was HUGE and we happily ran around sniffing and peeing. A close eye was kept on me since I'm a notorious chainlink fence climber.  hmmm... escape or lay in bed? I sampled the kitty litter while my human cleaned it up, and Nacho got into a closet containing a huge delectable bag. Bacchus caught his leash on a folded up bed frame and the closet door. The bold cat Loco kept an eye on our door, and we eagerly smelled the delicious kitty scents underneath.

We pulled up to the magic food window, and my human jokingly read the meaty breakfast options to me. I would like a bacon latte! meaty cheesy croissant?

I ran around to my usual side of the big bed, spronged, hit the side of the bed and slid off. Apparently my human was sick of me landing on her while she was asleep. My throne was moved to the foot of the bed, but I'm stuck in my routine. this is where it usually is... Bacchus has also taken advantage of the move. He hopped up on the big bed to let our moms know it was breakfast time! They tried to train me, giving me treats when I used the new location. I should take a long time to catch on <wink>.