How to Train Your Human

SO my big little brother likes to eat things.  He ran around last night with [human] hair sticking out of his bum with poop attached.   Anything I'm not supposed to eat? My human tried to catch him, but he lost his unwelcome hitchhiker in the yard.  She has threatened more than once to wear a ball gown while cleaning up after us.  I remind her that we make her live longer.  She reminds us that sometimes, life with critters is just too glamorous... Nacho wants to live by his rules #WorkBallGown #GlamorNeverEnds

I hope everyone had lovely holidays and lots of cuddles and chews.  Friday was Boxing Day which is time to de-clutter! It was exhausting I helped as I always do by offering snuggling and comic relief.  I even donated a toy to less fortunate puppies.   Working hard #BoxingDay

My human finally succumbed to nonstop adorable advertising...and a Bark Box  came in the mail! What could they have sent me? I ordered this with my big cute ears Inside were cookies, a chew, a bandana, a light up ball, and a rubber lightbulb chew. The tissue paper was even festive! Don't mind if I do... My brother Nacho wore the bandana for five seconds, ran around with the lightbulb chew, and chased after the ball. We all enjoyed the molasses and ginger cookies. This bandana would be better in my mouth #Cookies #BarkBox #HappyPups

At CVC  there were several stylishly clad pups.  I met a chihuahua in a pink iridescent harness!  I don't particularly care for clothing myself, but it does come in handy when I'm cold. Don't be jealous Another useful reason to dress up pets is to increase their appeal to potential adopters. When looking for a home for a very sweet dog who was missing her bottom jaw,  Baja Animal Sanctuary  adorned her in a frilly dress!  The novelty of the dress complimented her gleeful personality and distracted from her scars. Animals have healthy self worth, and this vivacious little lady just needed a good home! Can you say no to a pooch in polka dots? #BajaAnimalSanctuary #ProjectDogway

Nacho is my big little brother.  He was a stray dog who ended up as a veterinary school laboratory dog.  He was so sweet (and old) that he stole my human's dog loving heart. Pajamas nom nom nom Nacho enjoys chewing on things he shouldn't, sun bathing (he's my only sibling who smacks the door with his paw when he wants out), snuggling with Bacchus against his will, and belly rubs. I'm the little spoon Not planning on rubbing his belly?  He'll run up, lay on your feet, and present his belly.  He's so smart he had my humans convinced for years that he was slow.  He got away with a lot until a dog trainer noticed this.  The jig was up! #MachoMachoMan #NachoLibre

I spend much of my life in a sea of blankets and warmth.   Doga Sometimes I dream frolic, and sometimes I snore like a chainsaw.  It's amazing the sounds that my cat-sized body can make.  I quiet down or wake up to hide any evidence. The end of the above video should be listened to at maximum volume if you'd like a hint of what I'm like in fully glory. #PumpUpTheVolume #SnorifusRex #DogSnore

Today I attended Conventions for Veterinary Care . Does being Trinidadian count? We got ear thermometers so that patient visits are more comfortable! To infinity and zzzz We learned about safer anesthetic drugs, improvements in dentistry, got more medication added to our  online pharmacy , walked along the ocean, and I cleaned up popcorn from the  Convention Center  floor.  You're welcome.   #TheCVC #ToyStory #Pupcorn 

Today Mr Bentley and Royce came over to visit. We sniffed bums, then slept on pillow forts.   Of many pillows, I need the one my brother is sleeping on We begged for table scraps.  Why don't dogs get lunch? Resistance is futile We helped with homework.  You're welcome. I award you a degree in snuggling! #PlayDate #Snuggle #ResistanceIsFutile #PillowFort

Sometimes I'm really busy napping. This may be why it's taken several weeks to check out the slowly leaking kitchen sink... oops. Olympic sleep gold medalist I moved all the wet under the sink items, cleaned up the water, and got ready to investigate. I may have licked up some of the water before my human could stop me. Delicious. Delicacy: stagnant water I held the mag light, and we turned on the water. No leaks on either side. Then we turned on the sprayer and two droplets sneaked down the braided hose. My human unscrewed the nozzle, checked the gasket, then tightened the nozzle back down. She turned on the sprayer and turned the nozzle every which way, trying to get it to leak again. No more drops appeared. Mystery solved? We shall see my friends, we shall see. I fix things with my big cute eyes Until next time. Zzzzzz. #ChickenLittle #TheSkyIsFalling #Procrastination #OlympicNap

Hey folks there's a drought.  As little rain as San Diego receives, you can easily reuse it with rain barrels!  You'll even get a rebate  when you buy them. Where are my doggie safety goggles? We installed our first rain barrel months ago and checked it recently...it's full!  We used some of the collected rain to water the plants. Olly olly oxen free! I helped my human install another rain barrel. The only bad part was drilling into the metal rain gutter because of my bionic dog ears.  My classy human tried to use a table she found in the alley but it wasn't tall enough.  Cinder blocks did the trick.  Is there anything they can't do? #DogGoggles #OllyOllyOxenFree #OllieOllieOxenFree #RainBarrel #SaveWater

The kennels are painted! The kennels are painted! Although functional and certainly comfortable, the boarding suites were looking a little outdated. Sorry. Luxury boarding is a thing these days. My fellow canines and I were pretty smart when we became human's best friend. We need some humans Can you tell who inspired the dog in the tree? Our artist was very careful to make sure he didn't expose any pets to fumes. Thank you  Will! Cartoon me #LuxuryBoarding #InkPaint #WilliamSalas #PetMural #DoggieDaycare #CagelessBoarding #YoungGuns

Road trips are way better than being crammed under a plane seat.  My food and bowls and crate and leash and carrier were packed.  I was seat belted in beside my Grandpa, and we were off to Lake Havasu. Can't sleep, fear of missing something There was a car with three (full size, not pygmy) goats sunning themselves on the roof and hood! We stopped in Glamis and wished for ATVs. Giant litter box The inn was surrounded by places to sniff.  I was welcomed by their sign. Will there be pet massages? The next morning my humans crated me and went to breakfast.  I surprised them when they returned! Let me demonstrate We saw the London Bridge  and I was welcomed into the Visitor's Center.  They had a doggie water bowl inside. I do my own stunts We took a ferry to the casino and back and visited the fenced in dog park.  My Gpa got me a holiday outfit!  I needed another snooze after our adventures. Jumping the hol...

The end piece of our cinder block wall had been missing for... ahem... since we moved in. Spiders made their home in the hollow section (they tasted like chicken). One day we noticed puzzle pieces in the dirt below.  Woo hoo! Can I eat that? My human finally brought home some concrete patch so that I could repair the block. We glued the pieces back together and waited for them to dry.  I took lots of naps in the meantime.  Then we reattached the piece to the wall.  Goodbye arachnids, hello nicer looking fence! Umm... we could be napping #DoItHerself #FixItHerself #Arachnophobia #PuzzlePieces #AceHardware

My humans joke about me being a cat-like dog. I bathe myself frequently.  I nap a lot but wouldn't you? Instead of a mint I'm very flexible and could easily teach Doga. Upward facing dog #Doga #Yoga #CatDog #Carapo #PotHound

What if I merged with these cords?  Could I order food, toys, and mind blog? Introducing the reign of the Dogborg.  Luckily for the world I spend most of my hours napping. Take me to your zzzz #Dogborg #Futurama #TakeMeToYourLeader

My humans have trouble getting up in the morning.  I thwart them by snuggling, keeping them warm, and my cute powers. And sleeping (maniacal laughter) and sleeping... I wish their cupboards automatically filled themselves like my food bin. Dial-a-breakfast I think we should put wheels and autopilot on the bed.  I'm also in favor of Pee Wee Herman's Breakfast Machine and the Jetsons conveyor belt through the automatic shower to their vehicles. #BreakfastMachine #Jetsons #CarBed #Snuggling #CutePowers #SpaceleysSprockets #LosSupersonicos

The Miramar Landfill  has free or inexpensive mulch, compost, and wood chips.  Our landscaping needed some love, so my humans put my seat belt on and I got excited to ride in the car. Get outta my dreams We drove on windy landfill roads past trucks and heavy machinery I'd like to ride on to a dirt road. We arrived at the piles of free mulch and I needed a pit stop.  I waited impatiently and got tangled in my leash while my humans filled the tarp lined trunk, a garbage can, and bags in the backseat.  Up to two cubic yards were free for city residents if you loaded it up yourself! Get into my car At home we had already picked up my poop, pulled weeds, and put weed blockers down (a great way to recycle boxes).  I ran around supervising while my yard was filled with mulch! They even filled a hole we dug so we could dig there again. The new smells were exhilarating.   #MiramarLandfill #SanDiego #FreeMulch #BillyOcean

Dear Boss, Please excuse my human from work.  We have lots of snuggling to catch up on. Sincerely, Dr Shyla I'm more fascinating than this warm thing #CallingInSick #Pies #SnuggleYourPet #Shyla

My humans watched me climb head first into the blanket.  Why do I do these things deliberately?Was my head cold?  The lights too bright?  The reality tv so inane? Don't be jealous of my lipomas Then I heard something.  Was it food being procured?  Time to go to bed?  A chew?  These are a few of my favorite things. My name is Shyla I began battling the once comfortable, inviting blanket.   My strategy involved escaping head first.  Surely I would triumph! You tangled my ancestors I managed to stand, yet still could not be free of my worthy adversary. Prepare to die There is no yard that can contain me.  Who knew the humans only needed a blanket to vanquish me? Houdini called he wants his blanket back I admitted defeat and thought about taking a nap.    #PrincessBride #BlanketDefeat #EscapeArtist #HoudiniDog

The fastest route between two points is a line, so forgive me if I annihilate the house or interrupt your reading. Is it the weekend yet? I was thirsty, so ran across my human's arms between her face and book to my bowl (there are only three water dishes in my house and two in my yard so you can see how urgent my thirst can become). This textbook is cruel and unusual punishment Popcorn fell on the ground, so I ran across my canine siblings to eat it.   Dunkin Donuts bags were on the coffee table, so I climbed on to help myself (illegal!). What do we have here? The other night I spronged over the back of the couch and treadmill because it was the closest route to a nap. Sprong champion Never mind that I often misjudge distances and my humans try to catch me as I fall, I'm trying to out sleep the koala! Closer to the edge than she appears #Sprong #SleepChampion #DunkinDonuts #CatchMe